Baby Steps

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Baby steps to August...Baby steps to August

For those of you that remember the movie 'What about Bob' this may sound familiar. This seemed to work for Bob so we have adopted this method for getting through the tough obstacles in our lives. So far it's working.

As most of you know, we are expecting a baby girl Piper in August. This is our first child and we are ecstatic about meeting her. The pregnancy has been nothing less than the hardest thing either one of us has been through. In August, I mentioned wanting to get a puppy, Justin said it would be too much work and having a baby would be easier...boy was he wrong.

My pregnancy began fairly normal (i guess?) I experienced about 2 months of all day long morning sickness which was no fun but I just tried to suck it up and not complain. Easier said than done. Around the beginning of my second trimester the sickness began to fade and I started feeling like myself again. Around this time we were able to find out if we  were going to have a little girl or boy. I think the day we went to the doctor was the happiest and most exciting day for both of us. Little did we know we would leave the hospital in tears. We found out we are having a little girl (yay!) and ten minutes later we found out there is an abnormality on her brain in the ultrasound. Talk about going from being on top of the world to about as low as you can possibly feel in a matter of ten minutes. We were advised to go to a high risk doctor so they could give us more answers.

Our first visit to the high risk doctor was an unusual experience for both of us. We went in  scared and nervous and left confused and sad. The doctor we met with was the spitting image of the wizard of oz...and his words of wisdom were "it's all gravy".  Not the reassurance we were hoping for. We found out nothing except time will tell, so we left and tried to just stay positive. Through the next weeks we continued visiting both doctors and I was scheduled for a MRI. The doctors told us that it was mainly for observation and it was unlikely we would know much about her condition.

We went back to the doctor after the MRI and thinking we wouldn't know anything else about her, we were told her diagnosis at the appointment. (By the way, this is the day before Justin left for a week long mission trip to Honduras) They said she has Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum...What??? All I could do was sit there and hold back tears. There is no feeling like hearing there is something wrong with your baby and there is nothing you can do. The doctor explained to us that the  structure in her brain that connects the left and right hemisphere is not present. It develops in the first trimester and if it's not there now it will never be. He also told us there are no two cases the same so we will have no clue how she will be affected until we meet her. So we left and cried together. Justin started accepting the situation and I just cried the rest of the day.

That was May 20, and we both are doing a lot better now. We are scared but it doesn't control our life in a negative way. We both have faith in God and know that he has a plan for us even if it's hard to understand.  We know that this is going to be the hardest thing we have ever gone through but we have each other,our faith, family and amazing friends. We are just learning how to be patient and slow our lives down so that we can take each day at a time.

12 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing, Annie! My heart has been so heavy with wondering what was wrong, not wanting to pry but feeling like something wasn't quite right. I won't pretend to know how you are feeling...except that I have been to some scary, unfamiliar places with my children and grandchildren and can understand ( a bit) the depth of your worry and concern for precious Piper. So glad you are relying on God for what you, Justin and Piper need through this. He is the ultimate Father who will pull you up on His lap and love, guard, and protect you. I love you, precious Annie! My Mother's heart is breaking for you and I will be praying for you, Justin, and precious Piper every time I think of you! Robbie

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  2. Annie, I had no idea. I am so sorry. I went to the high risk docs with my pregnancy too since I had infertility and twins and miscarriages. They told us Harrison had some kind of cyst on his brain at one point. It was small and they said probably not a problem but sometimes can be associated with Trisomy 18. Luckily it was not and he is fine now minus his speech delay. It is such a scary feeling knowing something could be wrong with your baby.

    I will be praying for Piper daily and for you and your husband. You are going to be an amazing mother no matter what and Piper will be a wonderful little girl no matter what! I can't know what you are going through. But I can kinda relate since God also blessed me with a child with special needs. I wonder why God chose me to parent such a child? I wonder if I will be worthy enough to handle it? I have learned over time that God gives special children to special parents. Meaning He knows you can handle it and that you will be above and beyond amazing as a parent.

    Please let me know if you need anything. I would like to get Piper a present. Let me know a way I can get it to you, okay? Love you guys and praying for you.

    April Sumner

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  3. Hi Annie, I saw your blog on FB. I will be thinking about you and sweet Piper. I think a blog will help you see how much support and prayers you have.

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  4. You do have amazing friends and family who support the both of you! And the two of you were chosen specifically to be Piper's parents. A special baby for 2 very special people! Thank you for sharing in a blog so that others may know and pray for you. I hope you know how much I love all 3 of you! I can't wait until Piper gets here! My heart is filled with so many emotions! Love, BeBe (grandma)

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  5. Sweet Annie -- You, your husband and your precious Piper will be in our prayers..Keep your eyes on God and He will see you through..Praying for courage, strength and peace for you both.
    Love,
    Bill and Amy Broome

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  6. Annie,
    Thank you for sharing your story about your precious blessing, Piper! We serve an amazing God, and He is always in control even when we feel like life is out of control! I will be praying for your sweet family! God has a plan for your sweet little girl!

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  7. Annie,
    Thinking about you guys and praying for you daily.
    Susan Merryman

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  8. Annie and Justin,
    You and Piper are in our family's prayers. The road you are on will be filled with adventures. Not necessarily the ones you'd imagined, but adventures, nonetheless. Parenting, regardless of any extenuating circumstances, never looks like we think it will. I think Baby Steps is a brilliant philosophy!

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  9. Hi Annie,
    Nicole told me about your blog and I am so glad I read about Piper! I love the name:) I can't imagine your worry and frustration but I can tell you that my son was diagnosed with a pediatric cataract at 8 months old and it has required surgery and baby bifocals & he wears an eye patch all day (for 6 years) so I do know that life definitely does not go as planned. I worry everyday about him regaining vision and how it is going to affect him. It will be hard for you as you make this journey but it will help so much knowing there are people on your side!!I mean, I haven't seen you in years and now I am praying for you and on your side! Thanks for sharing!

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  10. Annie, everything happens for a reason...but sometimes those reasons are just so hard to understand. My hope is that the very moment you look into your daughter's eyes, you will know exactly why God chose YOU as her parents! I'm sure things won't be easy at first, but I AM sure it will be the most rewarding hard work you've ever done. Motherhood has an awesome way of putting even the scariest, craziest, and hardest things in perspective. You've heard it said that there are certain things only a mother can understand...you're about to experience that understanding in a way that only Piper's mother can...and that is a special and lovely thing! Praying for your new little family, friend! -Dawn Stacy

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  11. Annie & Justin,

    My prayers are with you, and God is in control. I truly believe in miracles. I have an Uncle who was literally on his death bed, the family was meeting that morning to talk about pulling the plug. He was brain dead. MY aunt went to check on him and he squeezed her hand, he woke up and today he is in a nursing home to regain his strength. They expect him to be there only a week or two. Put all your trust in God, he is the only miracle maker. I miss that beautiful smile & know God will never put more on you than you can handle.
    Love ya,

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  12. Praying all will be well. God is in control.

    Tina Jones

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